The Kraken in the Bathtub
by Miroku and Koga
Summary: Third in the Hairy Pooter series...Based partly on a true story.


The Kraken in the Bathtub  
By Miroku and Koga

This is the sequel to "All Thanks to Sake" which is the sequel to "Hairy Pooter: A Short Story". If you haven't read those, then I suggest you read those first before you read this story! -- Miroku and Koga!

* * *

"AHHH!" George Weasley exclaimed, pointing at his bath water. "There is a Kraken in my bathtub!"

Fred, George's twin, looked at where George was pointing. "No, I think that's your foot."

George looked at his twin. "What the hell are you doing in the bathtub with me?"

Fred looked at George and grinned, "I love you, remember?!" Fred hugged his twin.

"YOU ARE VIOLATING MY BUBBLE!" George screamed. With all the commotion in the bathtub, he didn't realize the tentacle that was coming up behind him until Fred started whimpering. "What are you doing now?"

Fred pointed, and George turned around. "See, I told you it was a Kraken!" George said happily. "Oh, shit."

The tentacle grabbed George, and another grabbed Fred.

Suddenly, the bath water got closer and closer until they both slid down the drain….

And out of a deep well.

"Where the hell are we? What happened to my bath?" George asked, whining. He looked down and noticed, with relief, that he had been wearing swimming trunks in the bath, again.

"I'm guessing that your bathwater is still at home, genius!"

"Oh…Ok!" George turned around, looking at his surroundings. He noticed a rather large insect that resembled a bee. "EEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!" George screamed like a little girl.

* * *

"Now do you see why we don't drink sake, monk?" Sango asked a rather sick looking monk.

"Yes, Sango dear. Now, please stop talking." Miroku replied, falling back to the ground.

"EEEEEEEKKKKKKK!!" a loud, high pitched scream rang out through the forest, causing Miroku to sit back up. "A maiden needs my help!" Miroku ran towards the sound of the scream, his hang-over forgotten.

He, InuYasha, Kagome, and a rather pissed Sango, ran to the noise, expecting a girl being attacked by demons to greet their eyes. What they saw, though was freaking hilarious.

"Fred!" a man with very red hair and lots of freckles yelled at what looked like a copy of himself, while running away from one of Naraku's insects. "Fred! The bee is going to eat me!"

"No, it's not!" the copy, apparently Fred, said calmly to his twin. "It's an innocent little bee." He stretched out his hand to the bee to prove his point.

"NO!" a unanimous cry came from the Inu Tachi.

"What?" Fred looked around, surprised.

"Do not touch the poisonous insect!" Miroku said, suddenly remembering his hang-over, and sat down, holding his head.

"Who did I kill in a past life to deserve this? GHANDI?!?!" he exclaimed, clutching his head.

"Fred? Where are we?" George asked, the bee temporarily forgotten, as it had suddenly disappeared.

"You're in the Feudal Era. You're in Japan," Kagome replied helpfully.

"How'd we get here? George, what did you do?" Fred asked, glaring at his brother.

"Why do you always blame me? What did I do to deserve this?"

"Did YOU kill Ghandi?! 'Cause I sure in the Cheesy Hell didn't!" Miroku exclaimed.

"THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT!! STOP BRINGING THE BLOODY MATTER UP!!" George yelled back.

The Inu Tachi just looked like this: o0.

Out of no where, Kikyo turned up with Shippo wrapped tightly in her arms.  
"What in the bloody Hell is that THING?!" Fred and George screeched.

"That would be Kikyo." Sango explained.

"Kinky-hoe? WHAAAAAAAAT?!" George looked completely and utterly confused. "Why in the blue blazes would someone name their daughter "Kinky-hoe"? That's just WRONG!"

"Wrong? TCH! She is a hoe! Look! She's molesting Shippo again." InuYasha stated.

"Ah. I wish she would do that to me….." Miroku muttered with a dreamy sigh. THWAAAAAACK! Sango's Hirakotsu whacked Miroku upside the head. "Pervert." she muttered.

"It is only considered molesting if it is involuntary on the minors part." Shippo stated smugly.

"I am sooo scarred for life!" Fred stated, running to the nearest tree and ramming his head against it. "Get out! Get out! Get out! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!"

George shook his head. "Tsk, tsk. That's the second time this week he's done that." He turned his attention to the Inu Tachi and immediately started to talk to a certain beautiful miko.

"Hello, my pretty. What's a beautiful flower like you doing in a dastardly place like this?" he said smoothly, kissing Kagome's hand. InuYasha growled deep in his throat.

"Umm, technically, I'm not from here." Kagome blushed, trying to push the horny teenager away from her.

"Really? Where are you from? What's your name? Can I have your number?" he replied, not paying much attention to Kagome trying to push him away.

"Uhh, I'm Kagome."

"Kagome… what a pretty name."

"Ok, that's it!" InuYasha yelled at the Weasley. "I'm gonna give you the hair cut you need if you don't get away from Kagome!"

"What?!?! Not my hair! Not my beautiful hair!" George sobbed into Kagome's shoulder, distraught over even the thought of someone touching his hair.

"I warned you!" InuYasha yelled, grabbing a pair of scissors from nowhere and running after George.

"AHHHH! Dear God, please send me someone to save me from this man…dog…thing." George screamed.

Then, the oh so sexiful Sesshomaru appeared. "InuYasha!" he yelled. "Where's my new fluff?" he pointed at he hanyou.

"Oh, well, you're not still upset about that, are you?" InuYasha asked innocently, or, well, trying to be.

"Of course I am! How would you like it if your ears were cut off?" Sesshomaru asked, clearly distraught.

"He cut off your fluff?" George asked, shocked. (Fred was still banging his head against the tree. The sight of Kikyo and Shippo had, for some reason, reminded him of when he walked in on Harry in the bathroom.) "He's a monster! Did you know that now he is trying to cut off my hair?"

"He WHAT?!?!" Sesshomaru gasped.

"Uh…" InuYasha trailed off, trying to hide the scissors behind his back. "Can't we all just get along?"

"NO!" Sesshomaru and George yelled together, going after InuYasha.

Sesshomaru, George, and InuYasha were surrounded by a cloud of dust, and InuYasha's yelps could be heard from miles away.

"No, not the ears."

It was at this point that Fred stumbled away from the tree, leaving quite an indent. "Oh, no. What's George done now?"

"Well, George was hitting on Kagome, then InuYasha threatened to cut off his hair, th-" Sango was interrupted.

"The bastard!" Fred jumped onto InuYasha, joining Sesshomaru and George in pulling his ears.

"You little A-hole!" Fred yelled.

Finally, after hours…well, minutes… of beating InuYasha, Fred and George stood back, panting.

"Oh, look, a butterfly!" George pointed and started to chase after it.

"George, get your sorry arse bask here!" Fred yelled at George.

Suddenly, Fred stumbled and fell onto George's back.

"What the hell?" George yelled.

The both tumbled into the well, and head first into the bathtub.

"WE'RE BACK!" Fred yelled, hugging his twin.

"I blame the butterfly for the entire thing!" George said, getting back into the tub and proceeding in taking his trunks off.

Fred looked over and screamed, running outside to find a tree.


End file.
